it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
