xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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