Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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