Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
