Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
As shirtless as possible
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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