You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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