one might say we're banned from that church
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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