They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
