Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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