East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
