I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
