Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

If I was on drugs, this would be amazing

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(440): View more from Ohio

so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about

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(586): View more from Michigan

i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"

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(703): View more from Virginia

you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.

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(850): View more from Florida

We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"

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(678): View more from Georgia

just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.

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