my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
only if we run a train.
done.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
