Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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