Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
