I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Is Oprah even human
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
