they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
