I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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