Where did you get a picture of my penis
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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