he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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