She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
