I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize