is your mom at the bar?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
