I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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