I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
