ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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