How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
