So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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