I just threw up on my dentist
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
