Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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