I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
