I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
