I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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