Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
the condom got lost in my hair
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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