i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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