ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
