3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Found your dick twin last night
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I supernannyed him into submission
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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