And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
