My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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