Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
you made out with another girl for some wings
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
