It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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