Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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