Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
