escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
