found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
