Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
