Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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