I'll bet she douches with gravy.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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