we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
