I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
your room smells of hookers.
And success
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
