nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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