I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
