I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
