I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
