ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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