I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
