You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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