Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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