Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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