thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
