What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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