Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
