Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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