Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Houston, we have a blender
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize